The DIfferences

A convo that I had with a fellow friend that lead me to A LOT and I mean A LOT of thinkin...

Annabel E Nuo Pou June 13 at 3:52am
okay:#1 they are all caucasian, have you notice majority of this division is between her asian friends and her non asian friends. And this difference is explainable. Since she is half and half and most people don't want to be asian since we are considered either nerds or in the triad. Take my half white cousin for example, at one point she was really excited about being chinese she loved it, but as she grew up she said people at school made fun of her. So now she is extremely white washed and she can't even speak chinese anymore when she use to. So i was thinking maybe she wants to be with more caucasian people? Or maybe she was just brought up more white then asian so she can relate to them more than us?#2 They are really "mature" hey? The way they act the stuff they wear, the makeup, the hair, the clothes, everything! The explaination for this is that they are all the oldest child. And there is scientific proof that older child and more "mature"? So yeah my oldest sister once told me that it was annoying hanging out with her friends that are the youngest or whatever, because they are more spoiled and generally more immature and childish. So this is like me, you, and bettiel, and manisha I believe? We are all not the oldest child. So I guess in that sense she can relate more to them then to us too. Maybe she feels like we aren't up to her maturity level the way I hold grudges? The way bettiel won't dance? etc.... Yeah, I think this point is the biggest point. It's genetic it's not something we did, It's just something that she grew into faster without us. And since we are not the oldest we will never be able to relate to them in this sense, we will always have some children left in us. And this might be why you think that they look down on us or think that we are stupid, it's cause they probably see us not as immature as they are. And sadly she probably does too. I also think this is the reason that we can feel so mad about them basically taking her away from us and they don't see it at all in that sense when we talk to her... Umm yeah...sooo after A LOT of thinking I finally found the differences. And even if you doubt what I said, I still believe those are the reasons, Nationality (to a small extent) and birth order (to a LARGE extent). Ugghhh soo sick of playing the shrink.... Wish I could just live a simple life where I wouldn't have to make these people observations. *sigh* anywho, I am literally getting sick and just took some cold medicine, so I am gonna go to sleep now....It's almost 4AM....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

---A lesson that will take me far in life I think

WAR.

You know what? I have had enough, these people can literally die, and I wouldn't blink an eye. They could be hanging off the side of a rocky cliff and I would push them off. Who are there people, shall you ask? They are the faggiest lowest of the low life you would ever meet. They spend their time superficializing everything around them, yet they fail to notice the greatest failure of all, themselves. I don't care if they are lying in their death bed begging me to forgive them, forgiveness is NOT given. They can go to hell and rot in the deepest pit and I still wouldn't care, It's where they belong. I personally believe that everyone should be able to take what is throw at them and build from that. Up until this point I have done that well. BUT now they have crossed the line, it's time for me to throw things back at them. I WILL make them suffer what they did to me and when they do, I will simply LAUGH

Gap tooth, Sluts aka "cousin", and a New "BIL"

Okay, so guess what? I got my tooth pulled out on Tuesday after school! Did it hurt? Hell yes, it did. Did I live through it? Obviously, or I wouldn't be here right now. Ahh soo glad to have it over with, but I still have 2 more I need to have extracted. Soo that's only 50% done. Hey, strangley I'm semi looking forward to it because this proves I'm stronger than I use to be. I can get 2 teeth ripped out of my mouth and not cry. If this was me two years ago, it would have been disasterous, filled with tears and what not. Soo this proves the whole, "what doesn't break you only makes you stronger". Thinking back at all the things that happened in the past two years they have their benefits in the long run. My outer shell is probably as tough as a rhinos' now :D. Soo yeah, I'm looking forward to the straighter teeth I'll be getting soon, and all this pain I am going through will be worth something in the end.

Next Topic! is my little slutty cousin. The half white one. WAIT!? why am I talking shit about people? Ehh It's not like anyone will ever read this. Well people might read this, yes. But people who read this that is her? ZERO. Anyways, what happened to the no drinkin alchohol and stuff? Obviously as she is gaining closer to that 16th mark, all rules are being put on hold. What type of SHITTY parents does she have anyways? They can't control her and let her walk out of the house with these SLUTTY clothes on. HA! and they dare say anything about us? LOOK AT YOUR OWN FUCKING DAUGHTER THE THINGS SHE'S DOING AND THE CLOTHES SHE'S NOT WEARING INSTEAD! STOP TRYING TO INSULT OTHER PEOPLE IF YOUR OWN FUCKING DAUGHTER IS AN OUT OF CONTROL FREAK!!!! (extreme mental shouting at this point) Ahhh how nice it feels at this point to rant some of it out. Well this is not the end of this. You'll be hearing more of this in the future as the SLUT-NESS level can only go UP from this point. I swear, when they come here whenever in the summer again, I don't think I can have anything I want to say to her. We live in different worlds now, and that's that.

New BIL coming!! NEWSFLASH NEW BIL COMING

love, me

Teeth Extraction, Heat Waves, and Michelle Phan

Soo Soo Soo, it has been awhile? God I know I was suppose to blog everyday, but seriously who has the time? So let us start...

Tomorrow I have a appointment at 4:30Pm to have two teeth extracted, the 15 and 25 in dental technical terms. Soo, am I scared? No I have to say I'm not. If I were I would be pissing my pants right now, and I did just go to the washroom, but that was from the cup of water I drank an hour ago in an attempt to cool myself down from this heat wave. Soo yeah continuing with the teeth thing, I'm dreading the SOUND of cracking bone when the dentist pulls it out, yes I remember that sound... And I'm not even going to my regular dentist to have these teeth pulled out, I have to go to some stranger clinic. I have trust issues is the point I am trying to make here. Soo after I get these teeth pulled out, I am going to go get seperators in on the 24th I think, then on JUNE 1st I am getting braces, on top. The whole Bottom explanation will come in when I decided it is nesseccesary.

Soo like I previously stated somewhere up above, we are going through some heat waves! I wish that blizzard a few weeks ago would come back...jk. But tomorrow will be 31 degress celcius. YES that is HOT, good thing I don't have class in the portables tomorrow, today was DREADFUL, Ohh and we also played some "TRUST" games today in class. I hope there is a decent breeze coming out of my window tonight or I might melt to a puddle on my bed...

Michelle Phan, Youtube's #1 Guru. I have to say I use to be soooo obsessed with her videos. I started watching them around 2007? aproximately? Well yeah I was so into them. I would watch them over and over again, I awe with the music, voice, and pictures. I would learn a lot from them too. Now though is a different story. Maybe I'm just older or maybe people have changed but I don't feel that she really cares for her viewers anymore, or more specifically she doesn't interact with them. I mean she use to have a blog that she actually updated everyday, and she use to talk to her viewers through that little chatbox thing. Now, It's just BlogTV where you have a 1% chance of getting into the actual chatroom, most of the time you are just in the "waiting room". Also what made me start not liking Michelle Phan as much and made me stop looking at her like a role model was when she started twitter. All she tweets about is mostly the expensive clothes she buys, how big her new house is, and other things that would make people very envious of her. I will admit, I use to be envious with admiration, but now it is just plain annoyance. I still watch her videos, but they seem to lack those key things that use to made her "Michelle Phan" in the first place, like her sincerity and whatnot. Now she seems more formal, robotic, and not really interested in interacting with viewers. I use to also look at her as a model to be proud of my asian heritage, but with her makeup and hair, it seems she is aiming for looking more of a caucasian now. Something that really ticked her off what her moonlight look? The one she did with the "monolid" model. Well the model did NOT have monolids. I mean yes they were smaller than her own, BUT does she really understand the concept of monolid? That video shows that she does not, because monolids look monolid at EVERY angle the camera is at. I am personally not monolid, but I bet those monliders were very dissapointed when they saw the monolid representer didn't even have monolids. Well, as humans, We have no right to judge another when you don't even know them, but we are given the right to have an opinion, and we have the right of freedom of expression as long as it is not in a harmful way. As a former MichellePhan "FAN" I have to say I am one no longer, and I am truly dissapointed at how things ended out. I wish her luck.

On a last more general note, I think it's the soo call fans that make me dislike a certain person. For example I don't HATE Justin Bieber, I dislike his fans that do crazy things and what not. Same goes for everything else


WHEWW!!! after that relieving talk I feel much better. As a note to myself I have say this blog was written in a CALM mood. And I have to go figure out some Cordinate Geometry I have for homework as it is pass midnight...

Nights<3

The Gloomy Days of Our Lives

Sooo, all my tests are over and done with, no more tests this week! So yesterday I made no entry because I felt really down, about what? Not being able to drive yet of course. Seeing my other friends do something before me. It's probably in my competitive nature, but I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE AT THE TOP. This is why I don' t join sports or anything, if I did, I would be feeling like this 24/7. Like, I can tell at this point, this feeling gonna take a good week to get rid of, that's why I am ending this blog right now, I promise some pictures tomorrow though.

Cheetah Nails, Math, Warm Weather and more

Ahh another day, Oh JOY! pssshhh, it only that was the mood I was actually in. Soo today the dreaded math quiz came, how did I do? Well, not as well as I would have wanted to and probs worst than normal. We didn't get our marks yet obviously. Oh well, what can I say? other than: MOVE ON MATH QUIZ, I have a science and religion quiz tomorrow, and not to mention a MATH EXAM the day after that. *SOB* the stress of heavy work loads.... At least the week seems to move faster when you think about it that way.

Hey! the weather is getting warmer. Too fast it you ask me. I don't like this warm weather, it's like sticky and humid, and you can feel the fake cool air inside opposed to the REAL winter air that you usually get. I don't know, it just feels musty and wet, totally gross. Also I must have been very hot last night since when I woke up, my blanket was on the ground! In a neat little pile I must add...strange. Well since the warm weather is coming, I must somehow attempt to reduce my ummmm bedding supplies on my bed, it can make you soo frutrated when you're hot, but in the winter it keeps you soooo warm, oh how I miss those dried air days. Seriously! my arms feel all musty and humid as I am blogging. I mean, it's not actually that hot, but the sudden change in temperture must be a big shock to my body. Last week my room would have be freezing right about now, with the window WIDE open, but now it's still a tad too warm. I am more of a winter type of person I have to say, I mean I don't see what the big deal is with wearing short shorts and camis etc. I don't even like to TAN, I like to stay my natural colour, and Ughhh I hate wearing sunscreen cause it's soo sticky and gross...EWWW. I enjoy my dry winter months if you ask me. It probs would be this bad right now, if the weather didn't turn from a 0degrees to a plus 24degrees soo rapidly, but it did. CURSE YOU GLOBAL WARMING!!!

Soo lets thing about my busy schedule in my last post, hmmm now I have the two tests, and a appointment tomorrow after school. I'll need to remember to tell someone else to pick my sisters up from school, or else I am SOOO SCREWED! Okay, it can't be that bad can it? I mean today went by no sweat! Ohh and we have an easter celebration tomorrow in the morning? I know, Easter? WTF? that was a couple weeks ago, Hello? *Sigh* don't want to go to my appoinment tomorrow cause originally I was planning to ask what to take in post sec. to do forensics, but now I don't know what to ask, cause I'm having second thoughts, plus, I don't remeber what I wanted to ask in the first place, since it was OVER a month ago, touching almost two I think maybe, PLUS, is my appointment even tomorrow? I don't remember, I'm pretty sure it is, but I recently lost the little card with the time and date, soo not 100% sure on that. Ohh well I'll just go and see. Shizzles, what is the persons' name that I made the appoinment with anyways

Okie, now when I said I would blog about beauty too I wasn't joking, here it is....The Cheetah Nails

Done in art class, very simple to do. I will post either a written tutorial here or post the video, when I make it. I am actually very proud of myself, cause this actually looks like a animal print! I looks very wicked from afar, I would post more pics, but it diffucult here, cause I have to drag it ALL the way DOWN, there will be more of this though, Just wait 'til I get through this week and make a tutorial.

Since I'm going to sleep relativelty early, I will wake up early tomorrow hopefully to study more. Geez I have no life....

Night!

The Asian Rant

Soo today, was a pretty long day. Not that we had any tests or quizzes, it was just a loooong day. GEEZZ speaking of, I just realized how much homework and studying I have to do this week. It's gonna be PRETTY HARDCORE. I'll barely have time to update! NAH!! I'll fit some time to update everynight...I hope. Sooo what busy schedule you may ask? soo here it is:

Monday: pretty chill not much actually happening that day..

Tuesday: Math Quiz and MANY questions from the textbook from the day before is due. Seriously, it took me like 3+ hours to finish them, and I STILL have to go study some more after to ensure a steady mark.

Wednesday: Science Quiz and Religion Quiz, career conselor appointment afterschool, have to make arrangements for that...

Thursday: Religion project due (more on that below) plus we have to present it, and a Math EXAM! that's 75% of our mark right there...*sigh*

Friday: Hmmm Big Brothers Big Sisters mentoring, and no actual THINGS planned for that day...YET.

See there is the basic busy school schedule for this week, no just add in the homework for each day, the studying time, and yeah.... BUSY WEEK NO?

Soo the religion project...what is it? to create a rant on a like i guess group or type of person? Can be cultural or like cliques, etc.... Soo so typical of me to choose "I Am Asian". We're suppose to break the typical stereotypes with this, BUT we can't just be insulting that particular culture/group. Soo since I find that rule limiting my creativity, I will post one RIGHT HERE probably on Friday, that's more what I wanted to write but it probably wasn't appropiate for school. It's actually quite fun, we suppose to come up with like 10-12 things, my group and I quickly came up with that. Now we just need to organize it into a neater format that flows better.
This was actually based on that "I Am Canadian" Molson Beer commercial, link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRI-A3vakVg

On top of everything that is going to happen this week I have that dreaded appointment with the career couselor on Wednesday. Man I was going to cancel last week, I mean like I book the appointment OVER a MONTH AGO. I was tired to waiting and didn't even want to go anymore. Soo i guess I should find out the name of the actual occupation soo when she asks me, I'll know. Basically there are two fields I am interested in, Forensics, and Cosmetology developer. That's not the actual names, but until I research it that's what I'll call it.

I am soo tired, but I cannot go to sleep, I have to go STUDY, Yeah!!!!...........NOOOOOOOOOTTT
-.- *SIGH*